I write a few x’s, a finker, a tiddle,
Then suddenly some luster; it’s over – the nightfall.
Today I speak of nothingness
But discontent and tired chest
I look to far and distant place
To things I love, things I embrace
when all you do seem futile and plain
do i blame me? my choices? my pain?
So how am I liking my new job?
I like it that there’s something new to learn everyday. I like it that it helps me to be spontaneous. Unlike my previous one, we are not guided by script verbatim rules and canned responses. We freely can express our thoughts to our respondents and clients, but of course, to never compromise professionalism.
I like that my days are not as robotic as before, that I have the freedom to play with my time and manage my resources. I like it that we are not haunted by action-suppressing house rules and disciplinary action guidelines. That we are trusted to perform as professionals, and nothing less.
But why does it feel like I can’t pour my all of me into it?
I’m not sure.
My boss showers me with confidence, trusts me beyond measure. She says I’m setting a standard, and kind of like setting the bar a little too high.
It feels great and all, trust me – to have someone believe in you so much. But the pressure – the thought that I cannot make mistakes. That I have to be always on top of my game. That I have to keep pushing on – this takes a bit of humanity off of it all.
I am new. I am barely on my fourth week. I should be allowed a little room for error. I should be like any newbie – make hundreds of mistakes and commit tens of small victories. That’s normalcy. Customary.
Grant me this ordinariness. Entitle me to grow and flow in my own sweet time.
If money were out of the equation, would you still work? If yes, why, and how much? If not, what would you do with your free time?
Haha! This is a good question!
If I’m going to be lazy a** prick, definitely, this is a resounding NO. Hahaha! Forgive me but the idea of me spending 100% of my time with my wife and our kid, and our dog Ccino is just irresistible. Maybe we’d travel more – visit all the best beaches in the Philippines, climb a couple mountains, watch all the TV shows and movies I’m dying to watch, read as many YA books as possible, get a gym membership and build muscles (yo!), walk Ccino more often, do more coloring books sessions with Saab, work with la wife into making the next Luke Skywalker (if ya know what I mean) and sleep in between. The life! right?
But then again, knowing myself I think I’d get bored with living a life of 100% pleasure and 0% hardwork so maybe I’d still get a part-time job – possibly a 4 hours/day, 3 days/week gig. Maybe I’d get something that I would actually like. Singing, perhaps. Or writing. Or keeping a Youtube vlog. Then again, since I’m already super lucky having the option not to work, I’d push my luck further and try it in the entertainment industry. I’ll audition for The Voice haha!
This is kind of going nowhere. Not really in the mood to write anything (I just woke up and I’m a little dizzy and I want to sleep more) but since it’s Daily Prompt, I kind of have to do this, daily. LOL.
But now that you’ve mentioned jobs, I kinda think being unemployed now for almost three months already bores the hell out of me so I’m going to have to walk into company recruitment hubs soon and get myself one. But promise, I’d still be vigorous here in CTC. So ’till next time!
Though I really don’t think you, dear readers, wouldn’t be too happy if you get posts like this every so often haha. So this ends here.