9 Months

It’s been almost a year and up to now, I think I’m still in denial.

I don’t want to discuss too much about you, how our lives were when we had you, Ccino. I guess I’m just in a state where I know you’re not around anymore, but I don’t want to acknowledge it. That perhaps you’re just in that favorite corner of yours resting and sleeping, like you always cutely do. I imagine you’re just below the space in our bed, playfully asking us to look for you. Or maybe just doing your rounds outside, making sure that the family is safe.

Things went by pretty fast. I remember you being weak, not being able to stand up straight. I remember I thought maybe you just wanted to play, so I brought you outside on a leash, tried to run around the area with you and see if it energizes you. But no, it made you weaker.

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I have always feared losing you. I know your life is not going to be as long as those of humans, but I believed the world would be fair enough to let you stay as long as possible because of how you changed our lives. But no, your life went through its course and ended young, to my shock! Perhaps, it’s just the way things are meant to be. It’s all planned, I guess. Or maybe that’s just how I want to think about it. Part of all my denying that we have already lost you, and looking to justify that it’s all a usual, vicious, cruel cycle.

I planned on writing something to honor your life, Ccino. Something that ends on a positive, shiny note for everyone who follows my blog to get inspired with. But as I type these letters, I don’t seem to make the words to be exactly like that. Because deep in me, I still can’t grasp and wrap my head around the fact that you’re already gone. And all that’s left in me are memories. Memories that hurt everytime they come to me, can be sweet and happy yeah, but painful all the same. Because as much as you made me happy in all your 6 beautiful years, you make me sad leaving just like that.

I will not rush things. I will savor the happy and the sad, I guess. Perhaps I will keep on denying, for now.

Because one day, I’ll find meaning in all these. Maybe not soon, but eventually.


The Second Coming

My wife carries pregnancy beautifully – I just want to put it out there. Well, to be fair, her second was not as smooth (I mean that figuratively and aesthetically haha!) as her first, but she wasn’t that awful-looking.

To document that, and also because pregnancy is both an exciting and an expensive (putting a stress on the second adjective because it is in fact, not a joke – budget-wise) journey, we, one afternoon, decided to do a very crude photography shoot.

Fatherhood V.2


So I became a father, again.

My wife gave birth to Elias Joaquin Adosto last November 2, 2015. He’s a big baby! And I will forever praise Jesus for wife’s normal delivery of him, despite her C-section history with our eldest.

He is planned. We always wanted to have another child – five years after we had Isabelle. I think we have been pretty open about having a big family, considering that both myself and my wife are only child to our respective parents.

The joy is just overwhelming! –  especially after learning that what we’ll have is a son. Everyone would think we’re already complete –  with a girls that’s in pre-school, and a boy toddler. I would like to think so, yes, but a part of me wants one more. Another boy. And then we’ll be set.

Joaquin is just pure happiness. He got pretty much everything from his mom – brown, hazelnut-colored eyes (like Saab’s),  a cute nose, barely-there hair, and full lips. His eyelashes, eyebrows – I would like to believe are from mine.

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It’s so beautiful that as much as Isabelle looks like me, Joaquin is the same with his mother. We now have our own mini-me’s. Our Lord God just does wondrous things!

My Thoughts on Mr. Williams’ Passing.

I can’t really say that I grew up to Robin Williams’ movies. You see when I was growing up, I didn’t have access to a lot movies. We didn’t have VHS, we seldom go to the movies because we didn’t have money, apart from the fact that if we want to, we’d have to commute, ride a bus, travel for at least an hour to go to the nearest updated movie theater. I got into movies when I already was in college and lived 5 days in a week in the city. Pity, I know, but at that time, it was okay.

I remember when I was in high school, my classmates would be raving on how good Jumanji was and I can’t join the conversation because I haven’t watched it and I don’t know what it was about.

Up to this point, I still haven’t gotten the chance to watch Jumanji. I’ve heard of Peter Pan, Patch Adams, What Dreams May Come, but just the same, I haven’t watched them all!

But I did watch Mrs. Doubtfire.

via Google Images
via Google Images

I got to watch it in RPN 9, the defunct TV channel that is now Solar Entertainment. If I remember correctly, I watched on a Saturday evening with my aunt. They would usually show movies at around 9pm on a Saturday and I can watch because it’s not a school day the following day and we usually consider this our TV bonding hour (now that I mentioned that, I kinda miss it!)

Mrs. Doubtfire was a charming movie. It grew in me because I too, am a product of a broken family and has a mom who has to work to provide for my needs. Not that I got to have a nanny too, but still. I related to it. I found Mrs. Charming affectionate. And that impeccable Scottish tone was just music to my ears!

Learning that Robin Williams passed away recently sure affected me – not as much as those who got to experience his entire body of work I know, but to some extent too because he played a part in my childhood. I think that’s why social media was in frenzy because of this news. He was a part of everyone’s childhood. I now know how it feels to learn of someone that you have loved and idolized, someone who showed so much life and happiness, who died in such depressing fashion. 

Depression is definitely an issue that needs to be addressed now, especially by parents. As a parent myself, I think it’s imperative that you make yourself present in your kid’s life. That you are aware of their state of being. And I think it’s important that at a young age, you instill in them the benefits of positivity, of rising everytime you fall, of laughing at your mistakes and on not taking life too seriously.These and everything else will be their foundation as they grow up, and will prepare them to face the real world when that time comes.