For years I felt that it had always been me. Me to take care of my business, me to seek the truths, me to balance the rights from the wrong, me to control my life. My victories and my wins – they’re all because I strived and worked. My defeats and my disappointments – because of my procrastination and neglect. I was alone. That I believed.
No higher power to cling to. No faith in someOne more in control.
I thought He left me in the wilderness when wolves guard my paths. I thought He abandoned me when evils are on a hunting craze. I thought He deserted me when I all I ever needed was His wisdom. I thought He ditched me because I’m a sinner and unrighteous.
But He was in fact searching me. Like a shepherd who lost one of His flock, I was the one He searched and left His ninety-nine for. I was the one coin the woman lit a lamp, swept the floor, and seeked diligently for. I was the brother about whom He said:
“But it was appropriate to celebrate and be glad, for this, your brother, was dead, and is alive again. He was lost, and is found.”
— Luke 15:32