I wouldn’t know if I’m gonna be bad on this. Or if I’m any good at this at all. All I know is I’m trying my best.
I’ve always wanted to be a father. I’m not like any typical guy who’s afraid of commitment. Maybe because I was brought up without one myself, I just thought it’d be really cool to do what my own father wasn’t able to do.
I can still remember that early morning of December 26, 2010, the first day I became a father. All kinds of thoughts surround me.
Would my baby be okay? Will my wife make it through? How should I feel? Play it cool? Play it scared?
I took my phone, turned on my voice recorder and said random things. What I feel as of that moment. What I would have wanted to feel. What really should I be feeling. My anxieties. Our OB’s updates. My hopes. My wishes. My prayers.
I thought about what the first thing I’d do when I see Isabelle.
I was lost, speechless and dumbfounded when I first saw my miracle!
What words to utter when I first see my wife out of the delivery room?
Yeah, a firm holding of hands was what I did – it was reassuring.
Fastforward, and I’m now 6 months a father – enjoying every feeling, savoring every emotion, testing and retesting the many father approaches.
I know I’ve got a long way to go. I am no genius as to how I should head this loving family I have now. I am a neophyte trying to tie every loose end. I am a freshman trying to make things right.
And so because of that, I structured my “three father rules”. Principles, really basic principles, that would guide me when I don’t find my way out of the tunnel, that would give me light in times of darkness:
1. F is for S!
Who says fatherhood is an easy task? Who talks about it in words and phrases such as “bed of roses” or a “walk in the park”? Fatherhood is all about sacrifice – looking out for the ones you deem more important than yourself. As such, it is expected that not all you dream for yourself you’ll realize, so prepare to get plan Bs and plan Cs. The good thing is you get to reap fruits. I think there’s nothing more fulfilling and more bittersweet in this world than to see a child succeed because a father paved the way, established the cornerstone and elevated the concrete.
2. Yes! to the Ma’am
Wives are your gems, dads. Whatever the circumstances are – they are your partners, your soulmates, your partners in crime. Love them more than anyone else as that should be your foundation for everything. Afterall, you wouldn’t be called a father if not for them.
Show acts of kindness everyday.
Don’t lose being a gentleman. Open doors for her. Carry her bag once in a while.
Hold her hand. Hold her hand tightly.
Though lip smooches are very romantic, kiss her forehead just to make her feel secure.
Love. And love so much more.
3. Whatever the odds are, fix things and DON’T LEAVE!
There may have been alot of separation cases you’ve heard about. Talks of divorce, legal separation and annulment being big elephants in your big, spacious rooms. But really, is that your only choice?
As a product of a broken family myself, I saw and experienced firsthand how it is to grow missing a part of your basic unit. The confusion. The missing clarity.
I honestly believe a couple married because of a reason that holds strength. For whatever it is that they may argue about, go back and find that one true reason. Love doesn’t only bridge differences, it also compensate for each. Love understands and will always try to understand. So fix things. Mend them. Until you find the that one true reason why you said “I Do” to that one person who, at one significant point in your life, you submitted yourself to spending your whole life with.