Five Years and I Rant

It was 5 years ago when Tita Neng and I came across a job fair in Galeria. I just arrived from Negros and though Mama was persistent I get a job, my focus was on my chem eng’g. review classes. My goal was to become a licensed engineer. Then I saw this advertisement of a man on a wheelchair applying for a company in blue font with white circles.
they don’t discriminate. i think my tampipi will do just fine.
Fast forward to present, I am now a team leader for one of its programs. After a year and a half of doing surveys and welcome calls, I monitored them. After monitoring them for two years, I now run and manage them – and so is a group of 20 and plus people who do them. In circles. Yes. And now, it seems I’ve reached my endpoint.
I used to love the job. I used to think it’s worth passing on the chance of becoming a world-renowned inventor, or at least a researcher and a developer, or to the very least, a lab rat – for the sophistication of speaking English in twang.
Now don’t get me wrong. This job – of whom I’m speaking about – it brought a tundra of changes in my life. I speak better (yup, and write too). I now pose better in my hoodie and in my rolled-up sleeves. I am now an all-too-trying-hard backpacker (this one I think is 100% positive), (not that I’m saying anything negative here), I’ve paid about thousands and thousands of house rent and and a plethora of consumer bills. I’ve met my partner in life in here – the best part of it!
It’s just that recently, I face my own quarter-life crisis.
You know, that point in your life where everything seems not enough and you just want to break free and just sit beside the shore and think to yourself “wow, this is the life”.
That point in your life where jobs look pointless and that fun, party and travels are synonymous to err, life.
That point in your life where you’re just too fine with your wife and baby you don’t want to leave your house you just want to spend time with them.
That point in your life where all you need is some PROFESSIONAL CHANGE.
I want to study. I want to take up Masters in Business Administration or Masters in Chemistry. I want to take up Education units. I want to enroll in an open university (plus the whole classroom scenario, minus the module and online discussions).
I want to teach. I want to fill young, innocent and naive brains with things they can use in life. I want to do pep talk. I want to share my literary addictions. I want to impart my favorite movie quotes. I want a black marker and a white board.
I want to be a DJ. I want to play music all day, and all night long. I want to entertain. I want to sing. I want to do out-of-town radio promos. I want to have my show’s own tagline. Like This is where it gets real! or The Daybreak (oh radio powers-that-be, if you guys are out there, I can do night shifts) or GoodTimesWithBien! minus the obscenity and the vulgar words and the measuring of wieners.
I want to be traveler/blogger. I want to be paid just ‘cuz I write what I see. I want to have my own website, like or (segue – please visit my blogger page, the latter with the extension). And I don’t want ads. They ruin my layout. I want to explore hidden frontiers and write about them religiously. I want to win awards for my posts – be invited to some Asian country only to receive a wooden statue(yes Ferz Decena, I’m so envious of your life).
Needless to say, I’m bored. I’m burned out. I need something new. If this continues or otherwise, it’s unknown. As far as I’m concerned, right now, I need a new phase. A crossroad. A risk. An adventure. A life.
Maybe I’ll just think about my early retirement benefit and the backpay I’ll receive once I make up my mind. So yeah for now, I’ll keep on swingin’ by. Oh yeah, money does change everything.

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